Have you ever been in a situation where you shared something that was important or meaningful to you with another person or group of people, only to have it ignored? Or to not illicit the reaction you were hoping for? Or maybe even you’ve set some kind of expectation for yourself and let your own self down by not following through. If you have — like I have regularly — that sinking feeling you feel is most likely shame, according to bestselling author Brene Brown in this INC.com article I came across yesterday. And there’s only one question you need to ask yourself to combat that emotion of shame you’re feeling in that moment: “What story am I telling myself right now?”
UGH. That’s so me. The spinner of stories. You could be thinking/feeling something completely different than what I perceive, and one wrong gesture or voice inflection and I’ve made up an entire scenario in my head about why you don’t like me/don’t agree with me/are mad at me/think I’m stupid. Ridiculous, I know — but as a highly sensitive person, I’m hyper aware of verbal and non-verbal cues and the general energy of other people, and can pick up quite easily on when things aren’t all rainbows and puppies. The problem is, I always assume it’s because of something I said or did, not because the person might be feeling upset/low/irritated/stressed due to something else going on in their life. (more…)
Since I’m coming off a busy long weekend and have no idea what to post on the blog so far this week, here are 7 things you might not know about me:
I am [wildly/strangely/obviously] obsessed with: dark chocolate and peanut butter. But you already knew that, I’m sure.
I have a collection of: Beach pebbles and sea glass. I pick something up every time I’m at the beach, and put it in my jacket pocket. Sometimes I forget they’re there and get confused when I stick my hand in my pocket only to pull out a handful of stones. When I remember to take them out, I put them in a meditation bowl or in the glass vase with my bamboo plant.
I secretly (not so secretly): Want to be a minimalist hippy living in a tiny house by the sea growing my own food, writing a novel and taking in rescue animals.
When I was 7, I wanted to be: Jane Goodall and a children’s book author.
If I could do one thing today, it would be: Get on a plane to an exotic country to explore and relax for a bit.
I’ve always dreamt of: Hiking Machu Picchu.
My favorite way to travel is: By car or train, even thought it takes longer. I love looking out the window and stopping in small towns you wouldn’t normally get to experience.
Last weekend I took my 19-year-old second cousin for a hike along one of my favourite trails on Vancouver Island, the Coast Trail in East Sooke Park. Along the way we chatted about life, school, photography, what he wants to do for a career, travel, and what we both want to be when we grow up (because I’m not sure I have that figured out quite yet either).
I told him that if I could go back and do it all again at 19, I would have travelled more when I had the chance. I wouldn’t have spent money on a brand new Jeep, would have stayed home longer instead of moving out with various boyfriends, and would have done a different university degree.
But would I really have been better off for it if I took my own advice at 19?
Me being a stereotypical #wellnessblogger #yogi #motivationalquote #greensmoothie #liveauthentic
Health and wellness bloggers: We need to have a chat about your Instagram accounts and the advice you share on your blogs.
Just because you’re “young, photogenic, big on Instagram and top bestseller lists around the world” does not make you qualified to give people nutrition and health advice, as pointed out by author Hadley Freeman for this fantastic The Guardian UK article.
I have to agree. Although being a healthy living inspiration as defined by our cultural standards can be a positive thing — especially since more than one-third of U.S. adults are obese — I think there is a point where wellness bloggers can do more harm than good.
Just as looking good does not make you a fitness expert, being pretty and thin with an Instagram page full of Reyes-filtered images of your morning coffee, mala beads and laptop; frosty green smoothies in mason jars topped with cacao nibs causally placed next to a carefully stacked pile of homemade raw/vegan/gluten-free/Whole 30-approved energy bars; a spiralized zucchini noodle pasta dish with cashew cream sauce (#vegan #healthy #wellness) you “just whipped up”; and wistful photos of you exploring a beach or doing yoga poses in the forest with some kind of inspirational quote about living life and following your dreams (#vcso #liveauthentic #explore) does not make you an authority on health, wellness and nutrition. As a fitness blogger who lives near the ocean in the pacific northwest, does yoga, practices mindfulness, eats primarily plant-based and often shares recipes on this blog and my Instagram feed, I’m totally guilty of some of these stereotypical shots and I’m the first to admit it. However, I’m also the first to admit I eat chocolate everyday and drink wine on the weekends, overindulge on vacations and fully believe in a life of balance and moderation. Being too rigid one way or another is not practical nor healthy, and I think portraying ourselves as the epitome of all that is health and wellness is not inspiring others to “live better” as much as we think it is. (more…)
Every summer I used to haunt the local used book store near my grandma’s place in Oyama, BC, where I’d stay for the majority of summer holidays. I’d carry an armful of Stephen King, Ann Rice, James Rollins and Tom Robbins back to my grandma’s house, grab a glass of ice tea and an orange creamsicle bar and lounge poolside whilst lost in worlds of vampires, pet cemeteries, subterranean creatures and surrealist seriocomedies.
But then I had to go to university, and had limited time to read for fun. I felt like if I had time to be reading something, it should probably be textbooks and research papers. Even though I took every English Lit course I could as electives, assigned novels simply couldn’t be enjoyed; they had to be scrutinized and dissected and written about for letter grades.
I didn’t get back on the book wagon until after I graduated university and secured a full-time job. But even then, any time I had a moment to spare to read I felt like I should be doing something else instead; something productive. I should be writing, I thought, because that’s what you need to do if you want to improve your writing skills as a communications specialist and freelance magazine writer.
I feel like I should preface my daily schedule by mentioning that I currently live alone, only have my dog with me on weekends (my parents like to keep him around for company during the week), don’t have kids, have a long-term boyfriend and am a crazy-early riser. So don’t be alarmed be my unsual waking and working hours 🙂 (more…)
You know when you read something that slaps you in the face then makes you question everything you’re doing?
I read inspiring quotes and little nuggets of wisdom every day in my travels across the internet and on social media, but this article that I came across earlier this week flipped some kind of internal switch and inflicted the following emotions when I read it, in no particular order: sorrow, despair, excitement, ambition, happiness and anxiety.
By now we’re all familiar with the problem of busyness, not being present for day-to-day life and multi-tasking. Not only does it leave us stressed, tired and unhappy, but also distracts us from living our real lives. Lives in which we only have a short time to experience. According to the author of the article, Maria Popova, we have “a refusal to recognize that ‘busy is a decision’ and that presence is infinitely more rewarding than productivity.” She goes on the explain that she’s concerned “being productive is the surest way to lull ourselves into a trance of passivity and busyness the greatest distraction from living, as we coast through our lives day after day, showing up for our obligations but being absent from our selves, mistaking the doing for the being.”
Imagine you’re in a meeting at work and your boss compliments you in front of your coworkers on the stellar job you did getting a project together. Do you:
a) Smile and look embarrassed
b) Say, “Well, so-and-so actually presented it, so really he deserves the credit.”
c) Say, “Well, it was really a team effort.”
d) Say, “Thank you.”
I’m pretty sure I’ve done all of the above except D. An not just in work situations.
Receives compliment on attire: “Oh, this dress? I think I got it on sale at Old Navy.”
Receives compliment about hair: “Yeah but it’s so dry — just look at my split ends!”
Receives compliment about writing: “Oh yeah I just do it for fun, hardly anyone reads it.”
An activity is suggested that I don’t want to do: “Sure, yeah, whatever you want to do.”
Someone says something I don’t agree with: Silence
I am the ultimate conflict-avoider. I do it at work and in my day-to-day life. I apologize, I bend, I push aside my opinions to make sure everyone is happy and likes me. I’m agreeable and highly sensitive. Although being a highly sensitive person is an excellent human trait — especially now in our current culture where we need more people to consider the health of our planet and the other organisms that live on it — it can get in the way of being our true, authentic selves sometimes.
Authenticity is scary for a conflict-avoider. It means we need to show up and be real. Be honest. Let our true selves be seen. (more…)
Happy Friday, friends! How was your week? What do you have planned for the weekend?
It’s been a very tough week for me and I’m glad it’s over. I may divulge next week, but for now I’ll just leave it at that.
Training for the Finlayson Arm 25K has been going well. This weekend Debbie and I are heading out to run this route: A 17km point-to-point from Mt. Work to Mt. Finlayson. Last year it took us about 3:30 hours to complete, so we plan to head out early in the day to beat the heat. It’s been abnormally hot and humid here in Victoria lately; you can’t do anything outside without getting tacky with sweat within 5 minutes. If it wasn’t for the numerous forest fires burning in BC right now and blocking out the sun, it probably would be even hotter. (more…)
At Sunfest Country Music Festival last year. Had an amazing time!
It’s the morning after the final night of that awesome summer music festival you and your friends were at over the weekend, and you crawl out of your tent looking for water. You straighten your Woodstock-inspired Navajo headband that’s still around your forehead as you survey the dusty and trodden ground, littered with beer cans, red solo cups, half-eaten hot dogs, tipped-over camping chairs and crumpled-up chip bags. You feel terrible, immediately regretting the five or six beers — or maybe that was 10 or 12? — you had each day over the weekend, along with all the hot dogs, chips, candy and other festival food that was so hard to resist, especially after a drink or seven. You were doing so well with your diet before the weekend, eating mostly whole foods and lots of vegetables. Now you feel like you’ve ruined everything in one weekend. As you pull on your last clean pair of high-waisted, high-cut denim shorts and Bill Murray T-shirt before packing up your mess of a campsite, you vow to drink nothing but water and green juice for the next seven days.(more…)